HeartSick

Proverb 13:12
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life."

My heart is sick today... I have experienced deferred hope in the past, and it is entirely true that desire fulfilled is a tree of life, but the sick heart is not something easily manageable.

My wife and I have been in the process of pre-qualifying for a home loan. We found out yesterday that our debt to income ratio was too high (due to student loans). Although my credit score is "very good," we are unable to pre-qualify because of the student loans.

Today, I spoke with the guy who gave us the information yesterday about the debt to income ratio problem, and we had a good conversation. Long story short, even if we didn't have the student loan debt, we would only pre-qualify for a $59,000 home loan (due mostly to my income being way too low). It wouldn't be easy to find a suitable home for that price, obviously.

The funny thing is that if we buy a house, our payments are likely to be at least $150 lower a month that we have paid for rent the past year and a half. None of the numbers make sense, but we can't get the loan anyway.

So, here I sit... with a sick heart, knowing that God is still in control of this thing, and waiting for Him to fulfil this desire and to bring life back to this tree. Knowing that God is in control doesn't make the heart any less sick, but it certainly brings peace to an otherwise hopeless feeling situation